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Bruce and An(n)a, and The Circle of Life

Last Saturday was a tough day for Sherryl.  She began to feel "weird" early afternoon and, a few hours later, she wouldn't wake when one of us gently touched her shoulder and called her name.  We were scared because we didn't think Sherryl was going to make it through the night.  A little after 9:00pm, we called Hospice.  We were told a nurse would arrive at the house in about 45 minutes.  As promised, the nurse arrived at the door soon after our call: a male with a pleasant smile.  We introduced ourselves to him before taking him back to Sherryl's bedroom.  And he introduced himself to us.  "My name is Bruce," he said.  Not a common name, Bruce was our father's first name, too.

Once in the bedroom, Bruce stood over Sherryl, got her to respond to him, then answered our questions and gave his advice.  "Follow her lead," he told us.  "Continue to do what you're doing so she is comfortable."  And so we did.  Comfort care. 

Sherryl made it through the night and early Sunday, Nadine heard Sherryl calling her name loudly.  Sherryl had spilled her cup of juice and needed help.  She had the strength to reach for the cup, to try to take a sip, and then to shout Nadine's name -- quite a difference from not responding to us the night before.  As late as this morning, Sherryl continues to have moments when she's nearly as chatty as she's ever been.  Although her appetite has been close to nil, she enjoyed some applesauce yesterday and she continues to drink lots of liquids.

A different nurse from Hospice visited Sherryl today to assess and address medical needs.  And then an aid visited Sherryl to help her with non-medical care.  Sherryl felt relaxed and calm, and floated into another nap after being cared for by the aid.  The aid had a cheerful demeanor, she was very tender, and her name was Ana.  Our mother's name was Anna, too, with a minor difference in the way it was spelled.

And so, just as she was during the first months of her life, Sherryl  has now been in the adept and compassionate care of Bruce and An(n)a.  The circle of life.  It's always there, and you don't need to look very far to find it.

Nadine and I cried together on the phone later Sunday morning.  We were relieved that Sherryl had made it through the night and that some of her strength had returned.  And we believe it wasn't a coincidence that a caring human being  who had the same name as our father had joined us in our childhood home to help us with what we needed.  Vulnerable little girls again, Daddy had arrived.  "Mom and Dad are here," we sobbed on the phone.  "They're coming to  take their little girl, to help her find her way."  And then, although it couldn't be farther from the truth but the notion was just absurd enough to lend much-needed comic relief to the moment, we began to laugh hysterically. "Sure, Sherryl gets the personal escort! They'd send a bus for us!"

For Dad, who sailed the oceans of this world, one of Sherryl's favorite songs.

~xoxo~

Hallelujah

Sherryl said she knew it was going to be a bad day when she stepped on the scale at her doctor's office and her weight had dropped to a number she hadn't seen since she was in her early teens.  Then her oncologist told her the current chemotherapy is not working and that her tumor marker is over 900.  He gently told her there are no more chemotherapies for her, and then he reminded her of a conversation they'd had a while back, one about a day when they would know there would be no more treatment. 

Sherryl's oncologist told her it's now time to focus on the quality of her life.  And he told her it's now time to contact Hospice.  Sherryl has contacted them and has an appointment next week; she learned that she does not need their services yet.  That news, coupled with the physical absence of medications, has given her spirits a boost.  The precious-sounding lilt in her voice is audible, and she's talking about a craft project she wants to begin at home as soon as she feels a little bit better.  

Sherryl has always wanted to "be at peace with cancer."  She has never intended to give up and still does not feel completely defeated by the disease.  But she understands the reality of her situation and will continue on this journey exhibiting a level of grace and dignity that is a lesson to us all.   

Interpreted as a prayer for mercy during devastating times, Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris sang it live last month on TV during the Hope for Haiti Now concert.  And k.d. lang sang it this past Friday night in Vancouver during opening ceremonies of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games.  Sherryl didn't see either of those performances, but she did see the song performed by the Canadian Tenors on the Oprah Winfrey Show last week.  She raved about this beautiful song and how moved the four tenors were when, as a surprise to them, Celine Dion joined them on stage mid-way through their performance.  Sherryl loved that a huge surprise was planned and carried out, and she loved the beauty of Celine's voice soaring with the voices of the Canadian Tenors.  But most of all, she loved the emotional reactions from each of the unsuspecting tenors as they discovered Celine had joined them on stage.  Even during difficult times, Sherryl is focused on making people happy, delighting them. 

This is a devastating time for our family, and we are being as brave as possible.  We are trying to emulate Sherryl's resilience -- for her, and for the younger members of our family.  But silently, we are each singing this prayer for mercy, too.  Hallelujah.   

~xoxo~

Determined

The scan that was performed earlier this month revealed a small tumor in the hip joint, so daily radiation treatment to that area began last week and will end in two days.  In the meantime, chemotherapy has continued. 

Sherryl has been very tired the past few weeks and has spent much of the time in bed sleeping.  She continues to use a walker and, overall, she's feeling very weak.  Her radiation oncologist validated today that her body is exhausted, probably due to cumulative chemotherapy treatments.  Sherryl's oncologist is on vacation, so she'll see another oncologist this week.  It is not yet determined if she will be administered chemotherapy this week. 

Sherryl has sorely missed being at day care and has missed spending the holiday season with the children.  But the perkiness in Sherryl's voice is beginning to return, and she's determined to regain her strength.  Determined.  Resilience.

To join the little elf above in cheering her on, here is one of RaRa's favorite Christmas songs.   

~xoxo~ 

A Very Happy Fourth of July

Sherryl has been feeling better the past few days and her energy has been pretty good -- just in time to celebrate another Fourth of July get-together at her house.  The entire family was there.  After a yummy barbecue, we gathered on the front deck where we again watched in silence close to a dozen fireworks displays occurring simultaneously from Vallejo to San Francisco.  It's always a beautiful sight.  And the party continued into Sunday as several family members stayed overnight at Sherryl's house.  We love tradition, and sometimes the simpler it is, the more treasured it becomes.  Here's a musical reminder that it is the simple things in life that make it so precious.

~xoxo~

Another Action-Packed Weekend

Chemo begins again this week, so Sherryl is taking full advantage of feeling great.  This weekend's activities included dinner with a good friend, shampooing the carpet at day care, babysitting for a few hours, grocery shopping, planning her next painting project at home, and getting lots of rest.  This week brings more routine, and that's always good. 

It's been too long since we've listened to Sherryl's favorite music, so here one of her songs.  Enjoy!

~xoxo~ 

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Sherryl seems to be metabolizing the new chemotherapy pretty well.  She had a good weekend.  Even before Friday, her resilience kicked in by way of humor.  We didn't know until last week that she gives names to each of her chemotherapy medications.  For example, Adriamycin was named Adrian.  And now that it has stopped working, Sherryl told us, "Adrian broke up with me.  We spent a lot of time together -- since before Halloween.  I really wanted that relationship to last."

The new chemotherapy is called CMF by both Sherryl and her team of providers.  We won't say here what Sherryl says the "MF" stands for because this is a family-oriented website.  Given that hint though, it shouldn't take very much imagination to figure out part of the name for this one.  Regardless of its name, Sherryl wants to become very, very good friends with CMF.   

From time to time, Sherryl speaks about the cancer cells that are still inside her body.  Last week she told us that she wants to "kick the cells' little butts."  Really?  Gives a whole new image to the detailed cell anatomy we learned in high school biology, doesn't it?

Sherryl just ended her first two-week cycle on CMF and now she'll go 2 weeks without any chemotherapy.  Overall, Sherryl is feeling great and went for a long walk both Saturday and Sunday mornings.  Beautiful spring California sun shone as Sherryl walked and talked about life and those she loves.

We'd insert here the "Walking On Sunshine" video by Katrina and The Waves, but, because there have been so many other videos posted here from the same era, some of you might begin to think we "live" in the 1980s.  Nope, not us.  Much.  If you don't live in the 80s either, click on this link:  Walking On Sunshine.

This week, RaRa reminded us that laughter truly is the best medicine.

~ xoxo ~

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Sherryl has had two doses of the new chemotherapy.  Aside from feeling a little tired, so far so good.

In honor of St. Paddy's Day, here's a YouTube video that has been included in the past, but it's a favorite.  Erin Go Bragh!

* * * * *

Happy New Year!

Times Square in New York City is famous for its New Year's Eve parties.  Even with the temperature below a freezing 32 degrees in The Big Apple, crowds amassed for this annual tradition.  Along with the commentary by famous personalities, there were three songs that bellowed through the streets of New York City once the stroke of midnight had passed. 

The first was a recording of "New York, New York" sung by Frank Sinatra and the third was a recording of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" sung by Izzy.  The middle song was one of RaRa's favorites and one we've included here frequently. 

As we wish you and your families a very Happy New Year, here is Louis Armstrong singing "What A Wonderful World."  And may RaRa continue to shine in 2009!

On A Holiday Roll, and Merry Christmas to Ireland!

Monday morning:  Sherryl received a call from Nancy this morning and learned that her tumor marker has dropped from 283 383 to 127!  Her tumor marker has not been that low in a very long time.  (To follow the history of Sherryl's tumor marker, click here.)  She is thrilled beyond words, and so are the rest of us!  And now it's on with our lovely holiday season!

* * * * *

The following update was written before Nancy's call to Sherryl.

RaRa is feeling so great these days that she just keeps going.  In fact, she is wearing us all out!  Her level of energy could not be more perfectly timed as there is always much to do during the holiday season.  Decorating, gift-buying and wrapping, and food preparation are on the docket for both home and day care this week, and RaRa is on schedule to finish it all in time for the big day.  Hurray for her!

Sherryl saw Nancy last Thursday and, after learning Sherryl's experiences over the past couple of weeks, a few options are on the table relative to chemotherapy treatment.  The dosage can be lowered or the schedule can be rearranged.  For the latter, what is currently 3 weeks on and 1 week off would change to perhaps 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. 

Sherryl and Nancy also discussed Zometa, which is causing some havoc with Sherryl's knees.  Based on new information Nancy learned at a recent conference, changes in the prescribed treatment plan are being considered here, too. 

As for blood work, tests show that, although she is not anemic, Sherryl's white blood cell count is low.  She was told this is not uncommon and she only needs to continue prescribed therapies; there are no related proactive opportunities to improve the count.  Sherryl had her blood drawn last week, too, which she has come to refer to as "giving blood."  She should learn very soon the most current tumor marker.

She has two appointments scheduled for next week: "giving blood" on Christmas Eve and a round of chemotherapy the day after Christmas.  In the meantime, be assured that RaRa is making spirits bright!

Our cousin Marie is doing a bit better, so thank you all for the prayers you're sending her way.  They are working and very much appreciated.  And, thanks to connections our Auntie Pattie makes with just about everyone in the world, Sherryl received an email from one of our cousins in Ireland! 

For those of you visiting from "the old country," lest you think we've forgotten our roots, we've not!  We're queuing up an Irish version of our mother Anna Mae's favorite Christmas carol, we're handing out hankies to Auntie Pattie and a few of us cousins who are known to cry at the drop of a hat (ahem, we'll start with Arleen, Nadine, Marie, and Jeanette, then others will join us!), and we're wishing an early Merry Christmas to those of you across the sea! 

In honor of our relatives in Ireland, here are the Celtic Women performing "Oh Holy Night."       

A Fun and Busy Weekend

Sherryl's having a very nice weekend.  Following several consecutive days of making sure she got plenty of sleep, she woke up very early Saturday morning, read her email, then headed out for the day.  A baby shower, visiting with family, and shopping at a favorite discount store, The Dollar Tree, rounded out her afternoon.  Then she returned home for dinner with Richard and a restful evening.

Sunday brings a full day at home.  In addition to naps as needed and babying some back pain that is still present, Sherryl has many, many plans brewing.  The holidays are on their way, so RaRa's imagination and creativity are heading for high gear.  Isn't she just amazing?

While in The Dollar Tree, where music is piped through the store's speakers, one of Sherryl's favorite songs began to play.  It's one we forgot to include in last summer's concert series for RaRa.  We shouldn't forget this one, and RaRa loves the long version. 

Here is "Miracles" by Jefferson Starship.