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Bruce and An(n)a, and The Circle of Life

Last Saturday was a tough day for Sherryl.  She began to feel "weird" early afternoon and, a few hours later, she wouldn't wake when one of us gently touched her shoulder and called her name.  We were scared because we didn't think Sherryl was going to make it through the night.  A little after 9:00pm, we called Hospice.  We were told a nurse would arrive at the house in about 45 minutes.  As promised, the nurse arrived at the door soon after our call: a male with a pleasant smile.  We introduced ourselves to him before taking him back to Sherryl's bedroom.  And he introduced himself to us.  "My name is Bruce," he said.  Not a common name, Bruce was our father's first name, too.

Once in the bedroom, Bruce stood over Sherryl, got her to respond to him, then answered our questions and gave his advice.  "Follow her lead," he told us.  "Continue to do what you're doing so she is comfortable."  And so we did.  Comfort care. 

Sherryl made it through the night and early Sunday, Nadine heard Sherryl calling her name loudly.  Sherryl had spilled her cup of juice and needed help.  She had the strength to reach for the cup, to try to take a sip, and then to shout Nadine's name -- quite a difference from not responding to us the night before.  As late as this morning, Sherryl continues to have moments when she's nearly as chatty as she's ever been.  Although her appetite has been close to nil, she enjoyed some applesauce yesterday and she continues to drink lots of liquids.

A different nurse from Hospice visited Sherryl today to assess and address medical needs.  And then an aid visited Sherryl to help her with non-medical care.  Sherryl felt relaxed and calm, and floated into another nap after being cared for by the aid.  The aid had a cheerful demeanor, she was very tender, and her name was Ana.  Our mother's name was Anna, too, with a minor difference in the way it was spelled.

And so, just as she was during the first months of her life, Sherryl  has now been in the adept and compassionate care of Bruce and An(n)a.  The circle of life.  It's always there, and you don't need to look very far to find it.

Nadine and I cried together on the phone later Sunday morning.  We were relieved that Sherryl had made it through the night and that some of her strength had returned.  And we believe it wasn't a coincidence that a caring human being  who had the same name as our father had joined us in our childhood home to help us with what we needed.  Vulnerable little girls again, Daddy had arrived.  "Mom and Dad are here," we sobbed on the phone.  "They're coming to  take their little girl, to help her find her way."  And then, although it couldn't be farther from the truth but the notion was just absurd enough to lend much-needed comic relief to the moment, we began to laugh hysterically. "Sure, Sherryl gets the personal escort! They'd send a bus for us!"

For Dad, who sailed the oceans of this world, one of Sherryl's favorite songs.

~xoxo~

Spirits Up, Strength Down

As the last of the chemotherapy cocktail evaporates from Sherryl's system, her spirits are a bit higher.  Her strength, on the other hand, is very low.  Her muscles are weak and she now gets winded just walking across the room with her walker.  Her appetite is better than it was a couple of weeks ago, and she's sleeping more soundly during the day and at night. 

Sherryl had a more than a couple of special visitors today and thoroughly enjoyed their conversation.  This evening she is exhausted though, so we are going to begin to monitor the number of people who visit her each day.   

Hospice staff continue to come and go as needed, they each have such a nice demeanor.  Special thanks to all our family and friends for your prayers.  Words just do not express our gratitude for your love and support.

~xoxo~    

Hospice Services Begin

Sherryl was not strong enough to leave home for her doctor's appointment today.  When Richard called to cancel the appointment, it was decided that now is the time for Hospice services to begin.  Another telephone call later, Hospice had arranged to make their first visit to Sherryl this morning.

The same RN case manager who last week met with Sherryl at the Hospice center made the house visit today and gathered all the information needed to formalize the transition away from aggressive medical treatment.  In addition to the services the Hospice team provides, they will bring to Sherryl's house a small wheelchair and a bedside table.  They will also, in collaboration with Sherryl's doctors, assume her medical care.   

Sherryl has been sleeping for the past few days and felt "crummy" today.  Her back is bothering her and her stomach is upset.  She wants to feel better, but can't seem to shake these symptoms.  She doesn't feel like having any visitors, and her spirits are fading.   

Please continue to keep Sherryl in your prayers.

~xoxo~

A String to a Balloon

Sherryl has been resting as much as possible the past several days.  Her appetite is returning slowly, but she is experiencing some pain in her right hip.  She has difficulty walking, still uses her walker, and wants to do more walking each day -- even if it's only around the house.  She has an appointment with her oncologist this week and she's hoping the doctor will prescribe a mild medication for pain. 

Sherryl contacted Hospice by phone and spoke with a nurse case manager who told her she did not yet need Hospice's care, but now is a good time to understand all the program has to offer.  Sherryl scheduled an appointment at the Hospice Center the following week to meet with the case manager and to learn about all of Hospice's services and benefits. 

The case manager was as kind in person as she was on the phone.  Patient and gentle, she explained the scope of the program and stated that Hospice "supports life."  She explained that Hospice assumes care when a doctor and patient agree to stop aggressive treatment, i.e., chemotherapy.  The woman told Sherryl that she (Sherryl) would be able to select her own case manager when the time comes.  Sherryl recalled the telephone conversation she'd had with the same woman with whom she was meeting, and she recalled this woman saying to her that she did not yet need their services.  Sherryl's response was, "If you're available, I'd like for it to be you.  You gave me a string to a balloon."

Hold on to that string, RaRa.  It's helium-powered hope.  That balloon will keep you and your spirits buoyed.  And we're all here to help you, too.

~xoxo~