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Bruce and An(n)a, and The Circle of Life

Last Saturday was a tough day for Sherryl.  She began to feel "weird" early afternoon and, a few hours later, she wouldn't wake when one of us gently touched her shoulder and called her name.  We were scared because we didn't think Sherryl was going to make it through the night.  A little after 9:00pm, we called Hospice.  We were told a nurse would arrive at the house in about 45 minutes.  As promised, the nurse arrived at the door soon after our call: a male with a pleasant smile.  We introduced ourselves to him before taking him back to Sherryl's bedroom.  And he introduced himself to us.  "My name is Bruce," he said.  Not a common name, Bruce was our father's first name, too.

Once in the bedroom, Bruce stood over Sherryl, got her to respond to him, then answered our questions and gave his advice.  "Follow her lead," he told us.  "Continue to do what you're doing so she is comfortable."  And so we did.  Comfort care. 

Sherryl made it through the night and early Sunday, Nadine heard Sherryl calling her name loudly.  Sherryl had spilled her cup of juice and needed help.  She had the strength to reach for the cup, to try to take a sip, and then to shout Nadine's name -- quite a difference from not responding to us the night before.  As late as this morning, Sherryl continues to have moments when she's nearly as chatty as she's ever been.  Although her appetite has been close to nil, she enjoyed some applesauce yesterday and she continues to drink lots of liquids.

A different nurse from Hospice visited Sherryl today to assess and address medical needs.  And then an aid visited Sherryl to help her with non-medical care.  Sherryl felt relaxed and calm, and floated into another nap after being cared for by the aid.  The aid had a cheerful demeanor, she was very tender, and her name was Ana.  Our mother's name was Anna, too, with a minor difference in the way it was spelled.

And so, just as she was during the first months of her life, Sherryl  has now been in the adept and compassionate care of Bruce and An(n)a.  The circle of life.  It's always there, and you don't need to look very far to find it.

Nadine and I cried together on the phone later Sunday morning.  We were relieved that Sherryl had made it through the night and that some of her strength had returned.  And we believe it wasn't a coincidence that a caring human being  who had the same name as our father had joined us in our childhood home to help us with what we needed.  Vulnerable little girls again, Daddy had arrived.  "Mom and Dad are here," we sobbed on the phone.  "They're coming to  take their little girl, to help her find her way."  And then, although it couldn't be farther from the truth but the notion was just absurd enough to lend much-needed comic relief to the moment, we began to laugh hysterically. "Sure, Sherryl gets the personal escort! They'd send a bus for us!"

For Dad, who sailed the oceans of this world, one of Sherryl's favorite songs.

~xoxo~

Like A Handprint On My Heart

It was a tremendously difficult decision.  It wasn't on her timeline or on her terms.  So it doesn't seem fair -- at all.  How can it be that someone who is the human version of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree is not afforded the opportunity to make choices about her own life? 

After 23 years of caring for infants and toddlers in a "home away from home," as a result of the current economic climate, and because her lack of physical strength impedes her ability to care for little children, Sherryl has decided to close her beloved day care.  Our family has spent the month of January dismantling the physical representation of Sherryl's life's work.  Clark Street will soon become a memory to all who entered a special place built with love for little people, a place where thousands and thousands of hours were spent teaching and learning how to love, share, and grow.  

The first generation Sherryl cared for is now in their 20s, and we've often wondered exactly how many children have been in Sherryl's care over the years.  There's a mathematical formula to estimate that figure, and whatever the answer, that is the minimum number of lives Sherryl has touched.  In addition to those children, Sherryl has formed friendships with many, many parents as well as with those who have worked beside her over the years -- friendships for a lifetime.  And for as much as Sherryl cherishes those children, their parents, and her co-workers, they treasure her, too, for all she has brought to their lives.  

Closing "Sherryl Morris Day Care" marks the end of an era, and the tears Sherryl sheds are for the good-byes.  She is not bitter because this decision was not made on her terms; she is immensely sad to see the work she loves come to an end.  But through the tears, there are  thousands of sweet, happy memories that conjure up smiles.  Sherryl will remember the time she spent with the children, the bonds she formed with parents, and the fun she shared with those who worked with her.  And they  will remember their time at day care, too -- because of Sherryl.  Memories: her handprint is on their hearts, and theirs are on hers.  They all have been changed ... for good.    

  ~xoxo~

January 10 ~ Happy Birthday, RaRa!

Sherryl continues to push through chemo-fatigue and is getting a bit stronger every day.  January 10, we won't say which year, is Sherryl's birthday, and we always celebrate this event on Super Bowl Sunday when our whole family is together.  But since Sherryl's birthday is today, this is the perfect time to re-post "Sherryl, Mom, and Dad," which appeared here on May 3, 2007, as it speaks to the relationship Sherryl had with each of our parents.

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Dad …

¨       Chose Sherryl’s first and middle names, and often called her “Shell-Ann” 

¨      Saved a pot in which Sherryl burned something she was cooking as a young teen, named it her “wedding pot,” and intended to give it to her when she was married.

¨      Used to always say, “Time flies when you’re having fun,” an expression Sherryl has used many, many times over the years. 

¨       Found a very creative way to reinforce with Sherryl the importance of keeping her room clean. 

¨       Always, always, always arrived home from a trip at sea on the same day report cards arrived home from school, which caused “a bit” of stress for Sherryl.

¨       Laughed harder than any other time we’d heard him laugh when Sherryl, perched upon Dad’s lap at age 6, wanted to see Dad’s teeth and asked him to open his mouth.  Dad playfully refused and acted as though his mouth was glued shut.  The game continued for several minutes.  Following numerous unsuccessful attempts to get Dad to open his mouth, Sherryl finally said, “Arleen, go get me a screw driver.”  Dad roared laughing affording Sherryl the perfect opportunity to study his pearly whites.

¨      Laughed hard, too, when playing a game of Simon Says with us as little girls.  When he said, “Simon Says stand on your head,” his oldest and youngest daughters obediently attempted acrobats involving heads on the carpet and feet in the air.  Not Sherryl.  Standing on one’s head involved sitting on the carpet and raising one’s foot to the top of one’s head.  Literal interpretation, you see.  No wonder Sherryl loves Amelia Bedelia books so much! 

Mom …

¨      Panicked within moments of delivering Sherryl because it took the doctor two attempts, not one, to get her newborn baby girl to breathe, leaving a bruise on her tiny hiny that was visible for years. 

¨      Fostered Sherryl’s individuality by decorating her bedroom in an outdoor theme: variegated carpet in earth tones, rattan furniture, two interior shingled walls, and a window treatment that involved an awning coming into the bedroom.  Tres rustique and very Sherryl.

¨       Always thought Sherryl looked exactly like Dad, the love of her life. 

¨       Always knew Sherryl would be the peacemaker in the family.

¨       Hosted many field trips to “Grannie Annie’s house” for Sherryl’s day care, circa 1987. 

.

Happy Birthday, RaRa!!!

~xoxo~

Christmas Present

Sherryl's oncologists decided to skip chemotherapy both weeks that preceded Christmas Day.  As a result, Sherryl was not sleepy and was able to sit and enjoy family fun on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Chemotherapy resumed last week and, while she continues to feel tired, she also is feeling a little bit stronger. 

Christmas Past is special; it conjures up many fond memories.  Christmas Future is special, too; it holds promise for new and exciting moments to be shared.  But some years, Christmas Present is the one to be treasured.  This was one of those years for our family.  We hope you have treasured this holiday season as much as we have.

~xoxo~

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!

Sherryl's favorite holiday has arrived once again and she is happily spending the day with the entire family.  Sherryl has hosted our annual feast every year since Mom passed away and now, it is with great love and pleasure, that she is passing the proverbial baton to Jonathan and Rachael to carry on the tradition of Thanksgiving dinner.  Fun will certainly be had by all! 

Sherryl has been feeling pretty well the past couple of weeks and, in fact, her tumor marker has dropped a bit to 470.  Following a conversation with her oncologist, she believes that the dip in her spirits was due to the current chemotherapy as it is known to play havoc with emotions.  The doctor also prescribed Sherryl a medication to reduce water retention.  She says she doesn't mind pushing through fatigue, but there's nothing she can do in this case for a side effect that involves swelling. 

Sherryl also learned that the results of the brain scan were back.  Her doctor reported the brain and skull are fine.  Sherryl has identified a small spot on her chin that is numb, so the doctor took note and explained that, if there is metastasis in the jaw, that may be the cause.  He plans to watch it carefully. 

On this Thanksgiving weekend, we are so thankful for the people in Sherryl's life who love her so very much.  From longtime friends to nurses to daycare kids and parents to our aunts, uncles and cousins -- you all make such a difference to Sherryl's spirits.  We hope you are spending part of this holiday weekend with those you love, too.  From our family to yours, we wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

~xoxo~

A Very Happy Fourth of July

Sherryl has been feeling better the past few days and her energy has been pretty good -- just in time to celebrate another Fourth of July get-together at her house.  The entire family was there.  After a yummy barbecue, we gathered on the front deck where we again watched in silence close to a dozen fireworks displays occurring simultaneously from Vallejo to San Francisco.  It's always a beautiful sight.  And the party continued into Sunday as several family members stayed overnight at Sherryl's house.  We love tradition, and sometimes the simpler it is, the more treasured it becomes.  Here's a musical reminder that it is the simple things in life that make it so precious.

~xoxo~

Loving the Simple Life

Sherryl saw her doctor last week and learned she is still anemic.  She was told there is nothing for her to do to increase her red blood cell count and that chemotherapy medications will be adjusted for this reason.  Overall, she feels great.

Sherryl has commented lately how much she is enjoying "living a very simple life."  Family and friends, work and play.  There is uncomplicated routine and she loves it.

She had another fun weekend doing the things she loves most: spending time with family and friends of all ages.  She rested on Friday, and on Saturday she had a massage, took Haley to her gymnastics class, had lunch with Austin, Haley, and Arleen, then made lollipop trees with Austin and Haley. 

Always crafting frugally, Sherryl took the children to buy lollipops and Styrofoam cones.  Simple, fast, inexpensive, and fun, creating those trees was the activity for Saturday afternoon.  Another slumber party at RaRa's house for Austin, Haley, and Annie, and then home they went on Sunday with their parents. 

The finished lollipop trees are absolutely adorable.  As for the time RaRa, Austin, and Haley had together, a picture paints a thousand words.  But a thousand words may be too many when you're loving the simple life.  These pictures seem to say it all.   

~xoxo~ 

 

Austin, RaRa, and Haley ~ June 6, 2006

Good News ~ Tumor Marker is Down

Sherryl met with her oncologist today and learned that her tumor marker has dropped from 168 in February to 107 today.  This is great news!  Sherryl's oncologist also told her that she is anemic again, so a course of shots were prescribed to boost her red blood cell count.    

The timeframe for the next bone scan was also discussed today; the next one will probably be scheduled for 8 weeks or two chemotherapy cycles from now.  

Except for some fatigue, Sherryl is doing well.  Her appetite is good and she feels OK.  She experiences no nausea and, in general, is thrilled to be able to function fully under the current treatment plan. 

Sherryl needed to stop into the clinic yesterday and one of the nurses approached her to tell her she had a "message from a friend."  Nancy, who has moved on to her new job, had asked the nurse to tell Sherryl hello for her.  Sherryl was truly touched that Nancy had thought to send her that message.

Sherryl continues to work at Day Care every day and this weekend will entail attending Austin's last Little League game, a massage, and spending time with family.  

All things considered, life is pretty good right now and we're all grateful for it.       

~ xoxo ~

Feeling Better ~ Friends, Shopping, & Little League

Sherryl is feeling pretty good this weekend.  She's just begun the "2 weeks off" segment in the second monthly cycle of this chemotherapy course.  A new tumor marker will be ascertained in about 2 weeks.

She has taken advantage of feeling well by spending time with family and friends, and by attending Austin's Little League game.  This weekend, she also bought a farewell gift for Nancy, which was a good reason to head to one of her very favorite stores, Anthropoligie.    

Nancy, Sherryl's favorite nurse at the Marin Cancer Institute, is making a career change.  Her knowledge, skills, and caring ways have been recruited by the University of California at San Francisco, and she has accepted a new position with UC in the area of lymphoma and leukemia.  She told Sherryl it was a hard choice to make and that the thought of telling Sherryl she is leaving was devastating.

Sherryl is deeply saddened to learn Nancy will no longer be seeing her on a regular basis but understands the career choice she is making.  She told Nancy she will miss her gentle ways and expressed her appreciation for "always making [her] feel safe."  Sherryl will see Nancy once more before the transition in jobs occurs.  There will be lots of tears and, in typical RaRa fashion, we have feeling Sherryl will be in touch with Nancy in some way.

On Saturday, Sherryl enjoyed watching Austin's late-afternoon Little League game.  Below are a few photos of our favorite little slugger at play.

~ xoxo ~

   

Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Sherryl seems to be metabolizing the new chemotherapy pretty well.  She had a good weekend.  Even before Friday, her resilience kicked in by way of humor.  We didn't know until last week that she gives names to each of her chemotherapy medications.  For example, Adriamycin was named Adrian.  And now that it has stopped working, Sherryl told us, "Adrian broke up with me.  We spent a lot of time together -- since before Halloween.  I really wanted that relationship to last."

The new chemotherapy is called CMF by both Sherryl and her team of providers.  We won't say here what Sherryl says the "MF" stands for because this is a family-oriented website.  Given that hint though, it shouldn't take very much imagination to figure out part of the name for this one.  Regardless of its name, Sherryl wants to become very, very good friends with CMF.   

From time to time, Sherryl speaks about the cancer cells that are still inside her body.  Last week she told us that she wants to "kick the cells' little butts."  Really?  Gives a whole new image to the detailed cell anatomy we learned in high school biology, doesn't it?

Sherryl just ended her first two-week cycle on CMF and now she'll go 2 weeks without any chemotherapy.  Overall, Sherryl is feeling great and went for a long walk both Saturday and Sunday mornings.  Beautiful spring California sun shone as Sherryl walked and talked about life and those she loves.

We'd insert here the "Walking On Sunshine" video by Katrina and The Waves, but, because there have been so many other videos posted here from the same era, some of you might begin to think we "live" in the 1980s.  Nope, not us.  Much.  If you don't live in the 80s either, click on this link:  Walking On Sunshine.

This week, RaRa reminded us that laughter truly is the best medicine.

~ xoxo ~