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Like A Handprint On My Heart

It was a tremendously difficult decision.  It wasn't on her timeline or on her terms.  So it doesn't seem fair -- at all.  How can it be that someone who is the human version of Shel Silverstein's The Giving Tree is not afforded the opportunity to make choices about her own life? 

After 23 years of caring for infants and toddlers in a "home away from home," as a result of the current economic climate, and because her lack of physical strength impedes her ability to care for little children, Sherryl has decided to close her beloved day care.  Our family has spent the month of January dismantling the physical representation of Sherryl's life's work.  Clark Street will soon become a memory to all who entered a special place built with love for little people, a place where thousands and thousands of hours were spent teaching and learning how to love, share, and grow.  

The first generation Sherryl cared for is now in their 20s, and we've often wondered exactly how many children have been in Sherryl's care over the years.  There's a mathematical formula to estimate that figure, and whatever the answer, that is the minimum number of lives Sherryl has touched.  In addition to those children, Sherryl has formed friendships with many, many parents as well as with those who have worked beside her over the years -- friendships for a lifetime.  And for as much as Sherryl cherishes those children, their parents, and her co-workers, they treasure her, too, for all she has brought to their lives.  

Closing "Sherryl Morris Day Care" marks the end of an era, and the tears Sherryl sheds are for the good-byes.  She is not bitter because this decision was not made on her terms; she is immensely sad to see the work she loves come to an end.  But through the tears, there are  thousands of sweet, happy memories that conjure up smiles.  Sherryl will remember the time she spent with the children, the bonds she formed with parents, and the fun she shared with those who worked with her.  And they  will remember their time at day care, too -- because of Sherryl.  Memories: her handprint is on their hearts, and theirs are on hers.  They all have been changed ... for good.    

  ~xoxo~

Not All Days Are Good

Sherryl had her second round of Chemo #6 last week and has subsequently experienced related side effects.  Leg pain, stiff knees, water retention, and fatigue are not a fun combination even by RaRa Resilience standards.  So, in addition to tears and lots of sleep, the walker was needed on Saturday and a cane on Sunday.  Sherryl did feel better Sunday evening, which she attributes to an 15-hour night's sleep.

Backing up to last week, Sherryl decided to be pro-active and ask for a particular test.  She has reasoned that nearly every part of her anatomy has been scanned; the only area not yet scanned is the brain.  So, although she is functioning physically and mentally well, Sherryl presented her rationale to her oncologist with a request for that particular test.  He agreed and the scan was scheduled for this past Thursday.  The availability of test results is pending.  Sherryl expects to get an update from her doctor during her chemo appointment this week.

Sherryl continues to push herself, even through bad days.  Sunday evening, she was baking a birthday cake for one of the children at day care and talking about Christmas gifts she has in the works. 

Resilience.  Here's wishing RaRa wakes up tomorrow morning to a good day.

~xoxo~

Chemotherapy #6: Docetaxel

Sherryl saw her oncologist on Monday and began a new chemotherapy today.  Docetaxel will be administered intravenously once a week for three weeks, then there will be no chemo on the fourth week.  The other news Sherryl received is that her tumor marker is 553.  This high number does not come as a surprise because chemotherapy is suspended during radiation treatment, so Sherryl has had no chemotherapy since before she was in the hospital.  Once radiation was completed, Sherryl's oncologist needed to determine if Gemzar should be resumed or not; the decision was to try another therapy. 

Sherryl's oncologist explained that, although there is "a lot of disease in the bone," it is not overtaking her the body and it has not spread to any organs.  He explained some of the side effects of the new drug, many of which are similar to side effects Sherryl experienced on the first chemotherapy.

After her first dose today, Sherryl says she feels tired, but it's a good tired.  She has returned to day care and continues to slowly but surely push herself in order to optimize her strength.

Special thanks to those who continue to send to RaRa prayers, good thoughts, and hopes for good health.  We so appreciate every thought and every gesture you express for our sister.

~xoxo~

On A Holiday Roll, and Merry Christmas to Ireland!

Monday morning:  Sherryl received a call from Nancy this morning and learned that her tumor marker has dropped from 283 383 to 127!  Her tumor marker has not been that low in a very long time.  (To follow the history of Sherryl's tumor marker, click here.)  She is thrilled beyond words, and so are the rest of us!  And now it's on with our lovely holiday season!

* * * * *

The following update was written before Nancy's call to Sherryl.

RaRa is feeling so great these days that she just keeps going.  In fact, she is wearing us all out!  Her level of energy could not be more perfectly timed as there is always much to do during the holiday season.  Decorating, gift-buying and wrapping, and food preparation are on the docket for both home and day care this week, and RaRa is on schedule to finish it all in time for the big day.  Hurray for her!

Sherryl saw Nancy last Thursday and, after learning Sherryl's experiences over the past couple of weeks, a few options are on the table relative to chemotherapy treatment.  The dosage can be lowered or the schedule can be rearranged.  For the latter, what is currently 3 weeks on and 1 week off would change to perhaps 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off. 

Sherryl and Nancy also discussed Zometa, which is causing some havoc with Sherryl's knees.  Based on new information Nancy learned at a recent conference, changes in the prescribed treatment plan are being considered here, too. 

As for blood work, tests show that, although she is not anemic, Sherryl's white blood cell count is low.  She was told this is not uncommon and she only needs to continue prescribed therapies; there are no related proactive opportunities to improve the count.  Sherryl had her blood drawn last week, too, which she has come to refer to as "giving blood."  She should learn very soon the most current tumor marker.

She has two appointments scheduled for next week: "giving blood" on Christmas Eve and a round of chemotherapy the day after Christmas.  In the meantime, be assured that RaRa is making spirits bright!

Our cousin Marie is doing a bit better, so thank you all for the prayers you're sending her way.  They are working and very much appreciated.  And, thanks to connections our Auntie Pattie makes with just about everyone in the world, Sherryl received an email from one of our cousins in Ireland! 

For those of you visiting from "the old country," lest you think we've forgotten our roots, we've not!  We're queuing up an Irish version of our mother Anna Mae's favorite Christmas carol, we're handing out hankies to Auntie Pattie and a few of us cousins who are known to cry at the drop of a hat (ahem, we'll start with Arleen, Nadine, Marie, and Jeanette, then others will join us!), and we're wishing an early Merry Christmas to those of you across the sea! 

In honor of our relatives in Ireland, here are the Celtic Women performing "Oh Holy Night."       

Feeling Better / Prayers for Marie

Sherryl saw her oncologist today and they reviewed together her reaction to the current chemotherapy treatment.  Once anemia is no longer an issue, if Sherryl still feels tired as a result of this medication, the oncologist suggested that a lower dose may be the way to go.

Sherryl's voice is absent of fatigue, but she is still getting plenty of sleep.  And she is relieved to know that adjustments to medication dosages can be made based on fatigue and energy level.

Our cousin Marie, mother of two sons who are day care alumni, is not feeling well at all these days.  Fortunately, she is in Auntie Pattie's good care.  We are all sending love, prayers, and good thoughts to Marie, and we ask that you please do so as well.  Thank you!   

Procedure on Wednesday

The procedure to insert a port into Sherryl's upper right chest area has been scheduled for Wednesday morning at 8:30 a.m.  Immediately following the two-hour procedure, she'll be administered her first dose of the new chemotherapy, Adriamycin.  Richard will take Sherryl to and from these appointments.

Sherryl continues to be in good spirits and, rather than staying home all day on Sunday, she made a trip to "Toys R Us" to buy gifts for 3 day care children who are celebrating birthdays soon.   

RaRa is always thinking of others.  Always.    

Back to Work, Happily

After a week of vacation, Sherryl returned to work at day care today.  This is a popular time of year for vacations and some of the day care families are away on vacation this week, too.

Sherryl experienced some fatigue and a bit of nausea this past weekend, which she attributes to side effects from recent radiation treatment.  True to form though, she carried on as usual with chores and errands.  She also got plenty of rest.  Sherryl is feeling well today, and her next appointment with her healthcare team isn't scheduled until the end of the month. 

Continuing our virtual summer concert series for RaRa, here's another one of her favorites.  While it is a sad song, the artistry in the original music video was stunning and timeless.  Unfortunately, the original video is available on YouTube, but it contains an "audio track that has not been authorized by all copyright holders [so the audio track] has been disabled."  But here is another video of a live performance.

 Sinead O'Connor sings "Nothing Compares 2 U."

Poofy Hair and Buffalo Cake

That zany gene pool has a not so funny way of merging features and talents when it creates babies.  Of all the possible combinations from the Bruce Scott Hanna + Anna Mae Savage gene pool, Sherryl and Nadine definitely got great hair.  There is a difference between the two: Sherryl has lots of waves; Nadine has no waves at all. 

 

We all hit the jackpot when it came to cowlicks, much like the one our old friend Alfalfa had (pictured at right).  We each have at least one.  With the help of products ranging from Dippity-do to mousse to schlack hairspray, we’ve successfully managed to tame our manes.  But we digress; the topic is “poofy hair.”

For those of you who have known The Sisters Three since the 1980s, Arleen and Nadine were all about poofy hair back then – the bigger the better.  While we would each spend a significant amount of time nearly every morning styling our hair, Sherryl would shampoo her locks, drag a comb through it, and never think about it again for the rest of the day. 

Today, Nadine sports a contemporary “do" that is stylish and smart.  Arleen hasn’t completely given up big hair (or shoulder pads for that matter; deduce more gene pool results here), and still needs to accommodate her hair styling standards with a block of time each morning and a specific amount of square footage in her luggage whenever she travels.

So, here we are post-chemo and Sherryl’s hair is growing back.  Hurray!  But there's a down side, which surfaces the irony in this story.  At the crown of her head is a healthy little tuft that is causing her hair to be “poofy" in the back.  And it's driving her crazy.  She spends both products and time trying to get the sprig to stay flat, and, for the first time in her life, she’s thinking about her hair during the day.  In time, longer hair will camouflage the sprig and all the world will be good again.  Patience. 

 

Next topic: buffalo cake.  Before anyone starts to think this is a variation of cow paddies, here's the explanation.  When a Day Care child is about to turn 3 years old, RaRa always asks the child what kind of cake they want at their Day Care birthday party.  Responses in 20+ years have included a racetrack, an elephant, Barbie, a jelly bean machine, a dump truck, a fire truck, Buzz Lightyear, a dinosaur, and on and on.

 

Kyle is turning 3 next week, so Sherryl asked him a couple of weeks ago what kind of cake he wants for his birthday party.  His answer: a buffalo.  A buffalo?  This is a first.  And since the moment Kyle answered her question, RaRa has been scouring her imagination, store shelves, and online images to find the perfect shape that will render flour, sugar, eggs, and water into this child's request. 

 

Sherryl has an appointment with Nancy on Friday.  She's scheduled to hear the latest tumor marker and we are optimistic the news will be good.  Until then, as she searches for the perfect buffalo shape for Kyle's birthday cake, she's also making sure her poofy hair is flat.

Normal Days

When Sherryl was first diagnosed with breast cancer, what we wanted for her more than anything in the world was a long, long, long string of normal days.  Following all the procedures, hospitalizations, and treatments that she has experienced since February of last year, we are immensely pleased and tremendously grateful to see her having them.

Today RaRa worked at day care where she enjoyed spending a lovely spring day with the children.  Hours, minutes, and seconds that once defined routine at Sherryl Morris Day Care are now cherished by RaRa.  She embraces every activity with love for those children.  She oversees fun toddler-aged craft projects involving construction paper and finger paint, shepherds a single unbroken chain of little kiddles on foot and in strollers to the park, and prepares lunches that will help youngsters learn to use utensils and practice table manners.  Then she washes all their little hands and faces, lies down beside them as they each snuggle with their favorite stuffed animal or blanket, and rubs their tender backs as she sings them to sleep at nap time.  Just as our mom sang to us when we were little girls a song called "Go to Sleepy, Little Baby," so into the ears of the day care children as they reach for slumber soothingly floats the same lullaby.

Once all the children are safely in the care of their parents, Sherryl heads home where she eats a dinner prepared by Richard, takes time to catch up with family and friends, and gets lots of rest. 

Normal days are a blessing.  Our lesson from RaRa is not to take a single one of them for granted. 

Taylor Lynn Cohen

Taylor Lynn Cohen was 18 months old when she began attending Sherryl Morris Day Care; the year was 1995.  Taylor went on to attend Marin County schools, and, this year entered Terra Linda High School's Class of 2011.  Her initials, TLC -- also the abbreviation for "tender loving care" -- became Taylor's nickname. 

Taylor died unexpectedly on Saturday, March 22, 2008.  Hundreds of family and friends attended the service held in Taylor's honor last Wednesday.  Dozens and dozens of people have signed the Marin Independent Journal's online guest book and several hundred classmates, past and present, have become part of a Facebook group entitled "R.I.P. Taylor Cohen."      

Sherryl attended last week's service and is so deeply saddened by this inexplicable event.  Her heart and thoughts are with Taylor's parents, Gail and Michael, and with her 8-year-old brother, Mason, who is also a day care alumnus.  Taylor, born August 17, 1993, was just 14 years old.   

Sherryl describes Taylor when she was a toddler as having an infectious enthusiasm for life.  Taylor's favorite quotes were shared at the memorial service and are posted below.  Rest in peace, Sweet TLC . . .

PEACE

It does not mean to be in a place

where there is no noise, trouble,

or hard work. It means to be in

the midst of those things and still

be calm in your heart.

~

To the world

you may be one person,

but to one person

you may be the world.

~

Authors unknown